I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
