have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Randomize
