You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
