I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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