Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
