PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
