Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
