Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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