Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
