I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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