We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
