would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
