I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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