I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
