3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
