if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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