Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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