I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
