smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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