Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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