Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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