i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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