he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
