I CAN MOONWALK!
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
