Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
