You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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