I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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