Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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