why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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