bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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