I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
