We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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