I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
