I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
