She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
