My liver just broke up with me...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
