It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
