I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
