I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
