I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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