and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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