Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
