I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
