Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
