I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
