Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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