Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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