But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Just pee around me
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
