what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She told me I should be a condom model.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
