Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
