I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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