can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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