Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
