How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
