Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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