I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
