Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
