is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
