Yo dont text me then not text me
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Non-Jews are for practice
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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