On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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