I would go down on you faster than GM stock
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
