Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
